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Supermoms and Career WomenWritten by AJ PRESS Los Angeles Wednesday, 04 May 2011 00:00
We are proud to share the Asian Journal MDWK Magazine article on our very own Founding Advisor, Carmelita O'Neil. For the full version of the article, please click here to visit the Asian Journal website. Teresita "Momsy" Leelin and Carmelita O'Neil: Supermoms and Career Women Over the last 50 years, the role of mothers in our society has changed dramatically. Women now make up 47% of the US labor force, up from 38% in 1970. As women have gone into the labor force in greater numbers, they still bear much more of the burden for both housework and child care than do fathers. Thus, workingwomen are left to wrestle with the competing demands of work and family, juggling their many responsibilities at the office and at home.
Carmelita O’Neil: The challenges of being a Fil-Am mom Carmelita O’Neil’s kids always ask her the same thing, ‘how did you do it? How did you manage to work full time, raise us and pay for our college tuition?’ With children of their own now, son Oliver and daughter Karmel want to know the secret of motherhood and how to best take care of their own kids. Looking back at her life, O’Neil is still unsure how she managed to do it. She worked full-time as an accountant, raised two wonderful kids mostly on her own, paid for their college tuition and provided for them with food and shelter and a warm blanket. As mother’s day approaches, the 66-year-old O’Neil, a retired accountant and one of the founding advisors of the International Society of Young Filipino Accountants (ISYFA), reflects on the trials and tribulations of motherhood and says she’s fortunate. “I’m glad that everything turned out good,” she says. “My daughter graduated from UCLA. My son graduated from a California State University. I think of the time when things weren’t going so well, they could have easily strayed or who knows what—but I’m glad things worked out.” Life in America O’Neil’s journey began in 1973 when President Ferdinand Marcos declared martial law. She and her then husband, unsure of what was to become of the country, packed up their bags and left to the United States, leaving behind their two small children. O’Neil, an accountant and graduate of the University of the East, Philippines, received a job offer right away in Los Angeles and within nine months was able to send for her children. But she found out right away that raising children in the US is completely different than raising them in the Philippines. “That was the biggest eye opener for me,” she says. “It’s so hard to be a mother in this country because we have no help. We have to rely on a babysitter and preschool. When you’re at the office you think of your children left behind and when you’re at home you think about your work.” “When we came here, it was definitely a struggle,” she adds. “Coming in here I was like, ‘oh my God what is this now?’ I have to find a trustworthy babysitter then take the kids there. At that time, I had to take two buses to Sunset Strip where I worked. I remember leaving the kids at the babysitter in the morning and I can still hear them crying from the bus stop.” It was a difficult transition at first but O’Neil and her then husband managed. O’Neil says luck played a role. She says she was fortunate that her employer at the time, MetroMedia, allowed her to bring her children in to work when they were sick and gave her time off when she needed to be with them. Her bosses could have easily dismissed her but decided against it because she was one of their best workers, she says. “They recognized my talent, not my handicap,” she says. “They promoted me and didn’t use it against me. I was lucky in that regard.” Playing a dual role When she and her husband decided it would be best to split up, she was frank with her children about what it meant for them. They were teenagers then and at that age could have easily rebelled or led astray. “I told them, ‘I’ll be your mother and father. I’ll give you the best that I could give you. I’m going to work hard for you.’” Her children responded by working hard in their schoolwork. Her son was accepted to a California State University and a year later, her daughter, to UCLA. With two kids in college on a single income, paying for their tuition was going to be difficult. Fox had just purchased her company and now, she has a new boss. She approached him with a sense of urgency. “I told him, ‘I have to put my kids through college I will work hard, work late, work weekends, whatever you want me to do as long as you could keep giving me a raise. Try to get me as much raise as you could get me,’” she says. It worked. She worked late. She worked weekends. She did whatever she had to do to provide for her kids. Looking back, it wasn’t easy for her but it’s something she dealt with. “I guess I could say that God helped me out,” she says. “You have to deal with the cards you are dealt with and do the best you can… God will only give you problems you can solve. Just think positive and think of good things.” O’Neil handled the trials and tribulations of motherhood really well. And she says, she’s proud of her kids. So now when her kids asked how she managed to pay for their college tuition, she says, “Sometimes I had to pull out of my retirement funds.” And they answer, “You don’t need that. We’ll take care of you.” (www.asianjournal.com) (LA Midweek May 4-6, 2011 MDWK pg.2) ___ For the full version of the article, please click here
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